Did you get a relationship handbook when you said "I do"? Likely not. And, if you did, please share! Ironically, we are required to get a "marriage license" but there are no prerequisites, study guides or exams to pass before we commit to a long term partnership. For the most part, learning how to be a great (or even 'good enough') partner comes from trial and error, and maybe even a little prayer. Many of us are just striving to be different than our parents or trying to improve upon the dysfunctional relationships that we’ve experienced in the past. Because we don’t do a great job as a culture teaching relational intelligence, many of us struggle to navigate the emotional complexity of intimate relationships. For the past two years, my colleague, Dr. Phylis Wakefield, and I … [Read more...] about Give Your Relationship a Boost with These Expert-Approved Resources
Let’s Talk Trauma: Part III
Let's Talk Trauma: Part III These past couple of weeks, we've been exploring the topic of trauma through the lens of our relationships. In Part I, we defined 'trauma' and provided an overview of how adversity in childhood or early adulthood can affect our present day relationships. In Part II, we explored the most common ways that trauma manifests itself in relationships and how you can begin to recognize it. Today in Part III, we explore what you can do to heal from trauma you might be experiencing in your relationship. Here are five steps that you can take if you feel that the ripple effects of trauma are interfering with your connection to your partner. Step 1: Learn more about trauma and the effects of trauma upon yourself and your partner. Awareness is always the first … [Read more...] about Let’s Talk Trauma: Part III
Let’s Talk Trauma: Part II
Let's Talk Trauma: Part II Last week, we kicked off the first of a 3-part series that we’re sharing on trauma and its impact on relationships. In Part I, we defined 'trauma' and provided an overview of how adversity in childhood or early adulthood can affect our present day relationships. Today, in Part II, we identify how trauma most often shows up in relationships so that you can begin to recognize it and approach it with more awareness and compassion. When trauma wounds are activated and we find ourselves caught in the grips of unconscious and automatic behavior, it prevents us from fully connecting to ourselves and others. When these emotional wounds are not tended to, they keep us behaving in ways that perpetuate distance and separation, which in turn impairs the trust and … [Read more...] about Let’s Talk Trauma: Part II
Let’s Talk Trauma: Part I
Let's Talk Trauma: Part I There is a lot of talk about trauma these days. It’s a big topic, and as our understanding of trauma evolves, so does our ability to heal and transform it. Over the next few weeks, we are going to take a closer look at what trauma actually is, how pervasively it shows up as an obstacle in relationships without partners even realizing it, and what you can do about it. The experience of psychological trauma occurs on an individual level, but its effects ripple out into our relationships and our communities. Trauma is NOT the event that happens to you, but rather it’s the internal wound that develops as a result. Definition: “The essence of trauma is disconnection from ourselves. Trauma is not terrible things that happen from the other side—those are … [Read more...] about Let’s Talk Trauma: Part I
